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Cassidy, 25, appeared on the U.K. morning show, Lorraine, Wednesday, March 5, and said, “I find myself talking about him so much in the present tense. I don’t even feel the need to correct myself.”
“That’s part of my healing journey. I’m still working on accepting the fact that he’s not here anymore. It’s hard for me to refer to him in the past tense. It almost stings that little bit more because it’s more official. It’s very hard to accept,” the model and influencer added.
Payne died in October 2024 after falling from a third-floor balcony at the CasSur hotel in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He was 31. Cassidy was in Argentina with Payne but returned to her native U.S. just days before his death.
Since the One Direction star’s death, Cassidy said she has experienced a mix of emotions.
“I am trying to do my best,” she said. “I have my better days, I have my harder days, but I am surrounded by such a great support system that I cannot thank enough. Having Nala [her and Payne’s dog] has helped me so much with my healing journey. I just couldn’t thank everybody enough, all of my friends, my family, for being supportive and helping me be productive.”
“I really am trying to be as productive as I can with not just being stuck in my bedroom all day. Doing small things like yoga, going for a long walk … I’m trying my best to do that,” she added.
An emotional Cassidy also shared with host Lorraine Kelly how Payne’s death was the first major loss she has experienced.
“It is really hard. I’ve never lost anyone before close to me so this is my first time going through this grief and healing journey,” she said. “He has impacted so many people in this world and I know I’m not alone in this, so many other people are grieving. It shows how much of an impact he had throughout his life.”
Remembering the singer, Cassidy continued, “He would light up any room he walked into and he had this sense of humour where he could make anything better. His presence was just comforting and warming, and that is something I will never forget about him, ever.”
Cassidy appeared on Lorraine to help support the program and network ITV’s new mental health initiative, March4March, noting that Payne “was so open about his mental health.”
“Anybody should not be afraid to speak out. … I know he would want me to be able to help anybody because he can no longer help people,” Cassidy added.
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